I had considered a home birth at the start of my pregnancy but was put off by people telling me horror stories and that it wasn’t a safe choice for having my first baby. It wasn’t until I started Sophie’s antenatal course that I learnt more about how safe home births can be and I live very close to the hospital so I decided to trust my initial instincts and at 37 weeks I asked my midwife for a home birth. She came round the following week and did a home assessment and we got the go she had we could plan for our home birth. I decided against getting a pool for at home as I was aware that a lot of home births results in woman having to go in to hospital anyway. I created a visual birth plan with plan a - home birth, plan b - water birth at birth centre  plan c - c section. I felt this way I had a plan for which ever way my labour went.

I started to have tightenings on the Wednesday evening but nothing regular so I tried to carry on as normal as possible. I used the Freya app to track my contractions and practice my hypnobirthing breathing throughout. I was booked in for a sweep the following day but when going for my appointment, my midwife was confident it was going to happen naturally quite soon and I decided against the sweep or examination. On the Thursday evening, the tightenings became more intense and more regular. At around 1am we decided to get the tens machine out and to call the labour ward as contractions became 3 minutes apart. the community midwife came out to assess me. I was about 3cm dilated but no waters or show at this point. She said my waters were bulging and to get on the birth ball or walk up and down the stairs, she left and within 30 mins my waters broke and she returned back to my home. I had the second midwife arrive at about 5am and we carried on until 11.07am when Poppy was born naturally in my home. I decided against finding out how far dilated I was during the labour to help me remain focused. I used a tens machine until 7cm and then started to have gas and air at this point until she was born. I was practicing hypnobirthing the whole way through and active birth positions. I was on my knees learning on a stool because the birth ball decided to get a puncture before my waters broke! I still can’t believe I managed to stick to plan A of my birth plan.

I had a very small tear which I was able to get repaired at home by my midwife. I was lucky to have the same Midwife’s throughout who were so supportive and respectful throughout. My husband was the most amazing birth partner thanks to all of the advice he had picked up through the antenatal course. The Midwife’s made sure we had skin to skin and optimal cord clamping as on our birth plan. My husband was able to cut the cord and announce the sex of our baby. I was able to get a shower afterward while my husband helped clean up our new baby daughter and get her in to her first outfit. The Midwife’s stayed with us to support with feeding and made sure that I was ok before leaving. My midwife also popped back at the end of her shift to make sure we were all getting on ok. The Midwife’s made sure everywhere was tidy and took away with them all of the medical equipment etc. We both absolutely loved our homebirth and if we are lucky enough to have another baby one day then I’ll definitely be having another home birth.

As the youngest of 7 I have always been lucky enough to have a mum who spoke very positively of birth and the joys of pregnancy. And unlike many women my mum never had a negative word to say about labour. It was just something you had to get done. However that is not to say I have not heard the horrors that some people like to share when it comes to child birth but when we started on our pregnancy journey I was very quick to ask everyone (including my sister) not to share their negative experiences. When we found out we were pregnant I was instantly drawn to a home birth or Midwife led unit. I think my main reasons for this were that I grew up on a farm and knew that all mammals can give birth without intervention and often without pain. When I shared my preferences with my husband, his response was “but why wouldn’t you go where all the drugs are” which I guess is a fair question. After sharing my thoughts around this and the evidence of how women are often forced to have caesareans or drugs which causes more complications, he was supportive of an MLU however not the home birth. I continued to read books and listen to many hypnobirthing audio books and the more I listening to the more I wanted to have a home birth however I needed my husbands support. After completing The Village Midwife antenatal course and listening to many birthing stories, my husband decided he would be comfortable supporting me have a home birth and when my sister confirmed she would also be a birthing partner, my husband was 100% okay with the decision. The day before I went into labour I was completely exhausted and then that night slept even more deeply than I would usually, as if my body was preparing me for the challenge ahead. On the day I went into labour I was exercising and something didn’t feel right. I had about tbsp of discharge & a small amount of very pink blood along with a mild period cramp. I continued exercising & then went to work online from home as I usually would. However as the morning progressed so did the surges and blood. My husband came home at lunch & by this point my surges were every 5 minutes approx. and getting much stronger. I said to my husband to go back to work & I’d call if they got much stronger. At 3.30pm I phoned the hospital & they said I’d need to come in to be checked as there could be something wrong with the baby. I knew in my head there wasn’t & it was just my cervix. On arrival at the hospital all my fears were realised. My birth plan was not read, I was ignored and left in a room, no one listened to me, all drugs were offered. We started with an CTG which was supposed to be 10 minutes & lasted 50 minutes. After being offered paracetamol & codeine which both took 45 minutes separately to arrive, we were then told the ECG was inconclusive & we’d need to redo it. They then did a cervical examination which completely deflated me as I was only 2/3cm dilated (would not do one of these again). At this point, I was pretty irate and my contractions were very strong and lasting up to 1min30. I demanded to leave and my husband (due to the course) was able to fight my corner. However with the concern around the baby I had another CTG and was told all was okay, we could go home. At this point I could barely walk as the surges were so strong however I was determined to have a home birth. My husband managed to get me in the car and we arrived home at 9.15pm. At 9.30pm I got in the pool which was basically a small puddle. Luckily the water filled quickly enough it covered my knees and made me feel more relaxed. At 9.42pm my waters broke and the midwife confirmed she was on route. I have to say at this point I was screaming out loud and my husband was covering his hears so not quite as peaceful as I hoped. As my surges continued to increase I put my hand between my legs and could feel the babies head. I was unable to speak to let my husband know so continued to keep focused. At 10pm the midwife phoned and was waiting outside. My husband went to get her and at this point I had an almighty surge & the head came out. My body then contracted back around his neck which when you’re alone in a birthing pool, is pretty terrifying. Reminding myself of all the practical knowledge I let my body lead the way. I then had one final surge & the body came out. I slowly let my baby come to the surface & held him in my arms, he was perfect and a few minutes later my husband and the midwife came in and my sister arrived about 30mins later. It was completely surreal but one of the best experiences of my life. No it was not without pain but honestly your body can do it and it’s not like anything else you’ve experienced as it’s not constant. It’s there & then immediately disappears before the next surge. It was utterly amazing to then be at home with everyone & everything I love around me. I had one small external stitch & the placenta was delivered via injection. My little one had vitamin K while being breast fed & we snuggled until the cord went white. The next day we walked to the pub & had lunch with him tucked up in his cotton sling, not sure there is a better way to celebrate! It was truly incredible having a home birth & there is no way this would have happened without the antenatal course. She gave me and my husband the confidence to fight for what we wanted and know that often you know your body better than anyone.

I didn't have any major wants or expectations over my labour, other than I was expecting it to be hard work and painful. I swim and have always been mesmerised by the healing benefits of a hot bath and find being in water generally very relaxing and so it's not surprising that I liked the sound of a water birth. However, after hearing birth stories from friends and family over the course of my pregnancy, I was prepared for the fact that what I want, might not happen as my baby might have other plans. Nevertheless, my husband and I spent time carefully putting together a birth plan, just in case we were one of the lucky ones whose labour went to plan.

The day of our son's birth:

My husband surfaced at 530am. We debated whether he should go to work or not as we knew that early labour could last days. We decided that it would be best for him to stay at home, just in case today was the day. He had just walked out of the living room and said "Good Morning!" to his manager on the phone when all of a sudden my waters broke. What a peculiar feeling that was... I burst into floods of laughter and called out to my husband what had happened. After sorting things out with my husband's manager, we called the birthing centre back who asked us to come in when we were ready.

Car packed, my husband and I looked at each other, "You ready for this?" I said. "Ready as I'll ever be." He replied.The birthing centre was fantastic! The midwives were so lovely, they introduced themselves and chatted to us about what our options were during labour. We then had tea and toast and settled into our room; I got my blanket out, put my labour playlist on in the background and ate some snacks. My contractions began getting stronger and closer together so I decided to start using the TENS machine we had hired. It helped for quite some time but soon my contractions were really strong. The midwife suggested I have a warm bath; so I did. I got into the bath and almost immediately got straight back out; the TENS machine was better than I thought and I wanted it back on immediately AND I wanted gas and air!! It was getting serious!! My husband was so supportive and chilled throughout the whole affair, he calmly made these requests on my behalf. I finally asked to be examined and low and behold I was 4cm dilated and it was time to start getting the birthing pool ready. As soon as the pool was ready I was 5cm and ready to get in. I loved being in the birthing pool. It was relaxing and although I knew we weren't alone, it felt like it was just my husband and myself in the room. I hardly noticed the midwives at all... only twice, once when my baby's heartbeat slowed and once when they were telling me to stop using the gas and air so much!! It was obvious to me that the midwives on shift had read my birth plan and were intervening as little as possible, as requested. My labour progressed well and with the help of the warm water, my husband's support, singing along to my labour playlist and lots of gas and air my baby's head was crowning. "Would you like to feel it?" a midwife asked... bizarrely I really did, so I reached down and touched my baby's head for the very first time!"One more big push," a midwife said. I followed her instructions... but not for long enough as my baby's head went back up the birth canal after I'd stopped

pushing! "OK... one more big push..." she said, "And keep it going as long as you can this time so the head can come out." So I did and I pushed so much that not only the head came out, but the rest of my baby's body shot out too! The baby was in the water and I just stared at it in disbelief! My husband soon said, through teary eyes, "Pick the baby up Louise!" I slowly reached down and picked up our tiny baby and cradled it in my arms. "What did you have?" asked a midwife. "Oh yes," I remembered, " We don't know the gender!" I looked down and saw that we had a baby boy. We were overjoyed! I turned to my husband and said "Not anytime soon.... but... I would do that again!"

I couldn't believe what had just happened, it was so surreal but the most amazing day of my life and surprisingly it went exactly as we had planned, which was very unexpected. Our son is most definitely the best thing we have ever done and we can't believe how blessed we are to have him!

Unfortunately for us birth plan A, B & C all went out the window pretty quickly. Maya clearly didn't fancy the gentle water birth we had planned. Luckily we had considered all the eventualities in our birth plan so could retain some aspects. My waters broke early one morning but the contractions never really got going so we went into hospital the following day to be induced. I was put on a Syntocinon drip to kick start contractions. This worked really well & I was soon having 5 contractions every 10 minutes. The downside to Syntocinon is that the contractions feel stronger than normal & you can't eat anything to keep your energy up. We employed lots of active birth techniques. I used a birth ball at the beginning. We also turned the bed into different positions so I could kneel on it, lean over it, pull on the handles & regularly manoeuvre myself to help ease the pain. We also changed the environment by lowering the lights & playing music- I danced my way through some contractions! I had a tens machine on throughout which worked really well for me. At every contraction I could hit boost for some extra pain relief. I managed to get to 10cms dilated & do over an hour of pushing using the tens machine & with gas & air. This was over about 10 hours. It is worth saying that I requested an epidural when I was about 5cms (not on birth plan at all) because I was exhausted & struggling with the pain. The anaesthetist came in twice to do it & got paged away for emergencies both times so I had no choice but to keep going. I was really reliant on my husband at this point as mentally I was really struggling with only being halfway dilated. Luckily he remembered everything from the antenatal course & got me to focus on my breathing by breathing with him, regularly plied me with water & helped me stay motivated by saying that every contraction was one step closer to seeing our baby girl. Once I got to 10cms I did feel my body take over & help with the pushing. It was all going well & then little Maya decided to turn back to back so she was trying to get the widest part of her head through first rather than the smallest! After talking through our options with the doctors we agreed to go to theatre for a spinal block so they could then manually turn her before I had to push again with forceps to deliver her. Again this intervention was far from our original plan but we had talked through all options so we were aware of the process. The midwives were clear on what we wanted so made sure we still got to do skin-to-skin straight away & things like optimal cord clamping were done. As soon as Maya was delivered it was all completely worth it. We feel so proud of what we achieved. It wasn't the most straightforward birth, but it was still a positive birth!

Induction at 38 weeks

I was told I’d need to give birth 2 weeks early as I had gestational diabetes and was having a big baby (which turned out to be accurate!). I listened to the risks of going past 38 weeks and seemed happy it was the right thing to do. I was given the choice to either be induced or have a planned c-section. I wanted to try and give birth vaginally so I opted to be induced using a balloon catheter as I wanted to go home afterwards. My community midwife helped me in the lead up to being induced - recommending things like clary sage, raspberry leaf tea, colostrum harvesting, hill walks and sweeps. I had 3 sweeps in the week before I was due to be induced and they helped me kick-start early labour. By the time it came to my induction, I was already 4cm dilated with the baby engaged. So the next step was to go back home and wait for a call from the hospital to have my waters broken and give birth. It was my 30th birthday that weekend and a real possibility that baby and I would share a birthday! In the end it took 4 days to receive the call and the morning after my birthday I went to hospital to the labour ward room where they broke my waters. My contractions started straight away. I wanted a birth pool for pain relief but the midwives couldn’t get the wireless monitoring to work. We didnt push for it as I was able to move quite freely and I had found a position that worked for me, leaning over my husband…for 7 hours! He was very sweaty, I wasn’t! Gas and air didn’t work for me - I was sick every time. I got to 9cm dilated with no pain relief and had reached the point where I couldn’t do it anymore. I had an epidural which worked incredibly well - I went from being in agony to chatting, eating jelly and having an hour break before I started to push. I didn’t top up the epidural so that I could still feel when to push. After a while, doctors started to discuss things like forceps as my baby was back to back. However my midwife told me I would get this baby out no problem! In the end I had an episiotomy and my baby flew out! I gave birth at 10:30pm and he was 8lbs 4. We had skin on skin straight away and I breastfed him. We ended up staying in the same Labour ward room until 5:30am! We took our time to both do lots of skin on skin, the midwives helped us dress baby and took pictures for us. It was a really positive and magical experience. The midwives were absolutely incredible and I felt really proud of myself and my body!

After a fairly straight forward pregnancy I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes at 36 weeks. I always knew I didn’t want to be induced as I had only heard horror stories. So when I was diagnosed with GD I knew the topic would come up. It was recommended that we were booked in for induction at 40 weeks as I was currently managing my blood sugar levels with diet. However, after a few spikes, I was put onto medication and they suggested bringing the induction forward to 39 weeks.

My husband and I went backwards and forwards for weeks about whether or not to go ahead with the induction, knowing it was booked in, but we could cancel it at anytime and decline the induction altogether. We used the BRAIN tool over and over again, but something in our gut was telling us to go ahead with the induction. All the scans were completely normal, she was measuring at an average weight and there was nothing to worry about, however, they tend to throw statistics at you that scare you and in the end we were booked in to be induced on Saturday 6th August 2022. I decided to go for a few sweeps in the lead up to the induction date, in the hopes that that might get things going or at least result in a more positive induction. I had three sweeps in total and lost my mucuc plug in the days following. I experienced mild contractions on the Thursday before, but they disappeared, so I didn’t think anymore of that. I had chosen to go ahead with the Foley Catheter after discussing the pro’s and cons with Sophie, as I knew I could go home and be comfortable, rather than waiting at hospital for labour to start. However, when we went in on the 6th August, I was examined and told that I wouldn’t need any of the gel, pessary or catheter as she could feel my waters and my cervix was favourable. So she gave us the option of being admitted and waiting for a midwife to break my waters and starting the induction of labour or going home and they would call us when someone was available. We chose to go home as we didn’t know how long it would take. After getting all packed up and ready, it was quite deflating to be sent home again, but I knew it was the best place to be. However, once we got home, I started being sick and felt unwell, so we called triage and went back in. My blood pressure was quite high, so they admitted me to the antenatal ward where I stayed 3 nights. At 3am on Tuesday 9th August I was woken up and told it was time to go down to Labour Ward. I felt a mix of excitement and anxiety. I didn’t know what to expect. I had such a lovely midwife and student midwife who made me feel very relaxed. I got down to labour ward and started unpacking a few bits and getting settled, waiting for Matt to arrive. I asked for a pool, but there weren’t any available and there also wasn’t an option for a wireless monitor, but I’m glad I asked.

At 5.15am, my waters were broken. I asked to be left for as long as possible before starting the drip, just in case I started having contractions on my own. By 7am, there was no sign of any contractions, so I consented to the drip. I was so disappointed and got quite upset, but Matt helped get the TENS machine on and we started watching an episode of Friends while Matt had some breakfast…nice for some!

At 8am, a new midwife, Sophie took over our care, and we could not have been happier! She was absolutely amazing and believe she made our birth experience even more positive! The plan was to stay as mobile as I possibly could, despite being monitored. I didn’t want to stay on the bed, so I kept moving as much as possible. At 9am I had an exam which I implied I was at 2cm dilated. At this point an FSE was attached to Niamh’s head, this was because I kept moving so much that the CTG kept moving and losing the trace. Despite the FSE, I kept moving and bouncing on the ball as much as I could.

At 10am I started using gas and air (who knew there was a right and wrong way to use it?!) When I started using it properly and got the TENS machine working, it made a huge difference!

I agreed to another exam at 12.30 and I said that I didn’t want to know how dilated I was, at the risk of feeling deflated. Turns out I was already 5cm! I couldn’t quite believe it. At 1pm, I chose to stand at the end of the bed with my ball, as I started to feel incredible pressure and really wanted to start pushing! I was so desperate to push, but I don’t think anyone thought I would be ready yet! So the drip was paused and at 2pm I agreed to an exam to establish how far along I was. It turns out I was 10cm and ready to push. It was the most unbelievable feeling – my body just took over and knew exactly what to do. At 14.06 I actively started pushing on my knees against the back of the bed, but then moved to standing which felt instantly more natural, and at 14.46 our precious baby girl was born. We had such a positive experience. We were so lucky to have an incredible midwife who supported our choices and tried to give us as much freedom as possible.

At 6am on Saturday morning my waters broke, somewhat surprising me at only 38 weeks. With no contractions we tried to have a calm and easy day, shopping for some yummy pre labour snacks, watching a movie and blackberry picking. By the evening cramps had got stronger and we started to make final prep of the house for home birth and our hospital bag. I was using my playlist and breathing through the contractions in our dimly lit spare room. By about 10pm we called the midwife- as my waters had broken so early I would be asked to go onto antibiotics if labour wasn’t fully established by midnight. I was trying not to focus on this ‘deadline’ but when the midwife arrived she checked me and the baby and found that I was only 1cm dilated and with each contraction his heart rate was dropping very low and they wanted us to be monitored. This immediately scrapped homebirth and sent us to a labour ward where it wasn’t clear if Robin could join. After an uncomfortable ambulance ride and a nerve wracking car journey for Robin, we arrived on the ward. By this point I had my hypnobirthing tracks on loop through Bluetooth headphones and once in the room some sort of primal instinct set in and sent me into the corner furthest from the door. I laboured for the next few hours mainly on my feet, circling my hips- something id practiced in weekly yoga sessions and sometimes squatting. Rob tells me I was pretty vocal using hums initially and almost mooing at one point! The monitors weren’t wireless and I also had an IV but Robin was amazing at making sure I could move as freely as possible, informing midwives of my preferences and generally allowing me to be in my birth zone using my Tens machine and breathing to manage each contraction. Around 4am things started to intensify and another check showed I was 4 cm dilated. I felt disappointed and when someone else helpfully said ‘we expect 0.5cm per hour’ I remember in my head thinking that’s too long “I’ll take a c-section now if they offer it” and asked for an epidural. Robin still knowing my birth preferences suggested gas and air first.

I continued to labour using this combination of breath, tens and gas and air. Around 6 am I went through transition, again asking for more support- Apparently the midwife gave Rob a knowing look and they offered to check again. In two hours I’d fully dilated and babies head was nearly there.

The relief at knowing this was incredible! I kept on using my hypno tracks as I squatted on the floor and bed - again a pose I was glad to have practiced so much in prenatal yoga. Apparently my vocalization changed to more of a roar- not one of fear but something deeply natural. At this point baby’s head was starting to appear and retract with each contraction so the midwife suggested I lay down. This was never a position I imagined birthing in having read so much about birthing on your back not allowing space for your coccyx to open and initially felt anxious about this. However after hours on my feet it was a relief to be off my feet, and now I removed my headphones and stopped the gas and air so I could fully concentrate with each contraction. After about an hour of pushing a doctor came in and said they could help if I needed with a ventouse- I was determined to have an unassisted delivery and was grateful that our midwife basically told her to go away and we were fine. The next 2-3 pushes finally brought out his head, after which there was about 5 mins of calm (the rest and be thankful phase). Robin said this felt strange as our son’s head had emerged and was not breathing yet- still supplied by the umbilical cord. For me it did feel like a true rest and a moment to gather a final bit of strength to deliver the rest of his body.

Those final contractions felt pretty amazing and suddenly he had emerged totally and was quickly placed on my chest. My first words were “I can’t believe he is here”. Six days on, writing this on the sofa with him curled on my chest listening to the comfort of my heartbeat I still can’t believe he is here. .

I had been lucky and really enjoyed pregnancy. Our little boy was obviously very comfortable in there as he didn't want to come out! At 40 weeks my midwife and I started to discuss the induction process. I was having alot of Braxton hicks contractions and could feel alot of pressure. I really didn't like the idea of being induced as understood that the contractions come on quite strong and I may not be able to be quite as mobile during labour due to the hormone drip. We tried everything to get things going, but nothing seemed to work.

At 42 weeks and several stretch and sweeps later, we decided to go ahead with induction as our concerns for our little baby were growing. I arrived at stoke mandeville on monday 3rd june, at which point they inserted the pessary which had the desired affect. I dilated to 2-3 centimetres and was ready to have my waters broken. Unfortunately, they didn't have any available midwives on the labour ward so I was put on a waiting list. In the meantime I was required to stay on the ward. By wednesday my mood was pretty low. The ward was noisy and I was being strapped up to machines every 4 hours to check baby was ok, so I hardly slept. The anticipation was just too much for me and I just wanted to go home and rest as I was concerned about going into labour in my current state. I wanted to be as rested and positive as possible for the birth. We spoke to the doctor on the ward and they agreed that I could go home so long as I returned morning and evening for monitoring.

After a day resting at home I felt so much better and when we went in for monitoring on the morning of thursday 6th june, we were told that there was space on the labour ward for me and we went straight down to have my waters broken. After waiting what felt like a lifetime and at this point being 17 days overdue, I was so excited to get started and meet our baby soon! My waters were broken at 10am and I was told that it is normal practice for me to start the IV drip straight away. I was reluctant to do it straight away and wanted to allow myself a few hours to see if I progressed naturally. I was so lucky to have a very supportive midwife and she agreed to fight my corner when the doctor came in to discuss it with me. They agreed to allow 2 additional hours before starting the drip, so I immediately got up and walking around.

Within an hour I was having 4 contractions every 10 minutes lasting about a minute each. My midwife checked again with the doctor and he agreed that I wouldn't need the hormone drip. Questioning this was one of the best decisions I made as the contractions built up gradually and I wasnt attached to a drip restricting my movement during labour.I had always wanted to have a water birth. However, because I had started the induction process, they required me to be continuously monitored. We tried with the wireless monitor but it kept cutting out, therefore a water birth wasnt possible. However, I was able to have a bath during labour which helped with the pain. I was examined at around 3pm and was told I was 5cm and progressing well. Up until then, I had made use of the birthing ball, tens machine and breathing techniques learnt during yoga to manage the pain. I also stayed as mobile as I could to help things along. However, the pain had intensified and I was starting to struggle a bit so took some paracetamol and began using the gas and air during contractions. At about 6.30pm I began to get the urge to push so was examined again and told I was fully dilated. I pushed for nearly two hours and was very close but Dylan began to get distressed and his heart rate was dropping. The doctor had been watching the heart monitor and came in to gave me a scan and check Dylans position. He then suggested that he use the ventouse to help him out. I wasn't keen and tried pushing a few more times after that, however I was getting very tired and the situation wasn't improving, so I agreed to the ventouse. After an episiotomy and a couple of pushes our gorgeous baby boy arrived.

Although my birth wasnt exactly as planned, I found it an overall positive experience. I was lucky enough to have a very supportive midwife and thanks to everything I had learnt during Sophie's antenatal classes, I felt empowered and informed enough to question things when I didn't feel comfortable. Giving birth has been my biggest life achievement so far. I am so proud of my amazing body for what it has done and am looking forward to my next birth experience.

Elective Caesarean birth story

My pregnancy had some risk factors right from the start - including my age (I was 44) and my IVF, so I was under consultant led care from the start. As pregnancy progressed I developed gestational diabetes, was carrying excess amniotic fluid and my baby was on the 98th percentile for size. All things considered, it was agreed that i would deliver by c-section at 38 weeks. In week 36 I started to develop signs of pre-eclampsia and this was brought forward to week 37.

The birth itself went fairly smoothly. I had to fast from 2am the night before, be at hospital from 6am and I was placed 3rd on the theatre list for that morning. I was called at about midday and Baby Oliver was born at 1pm. I was glad I'd been told how many people to expect in theatre - there were loads! Everyone was very lovely and someone always explained to me what was happening.

I was surprised how high the drape is, so as mum to be you don't have much space on your side. That means that when Oliver was born and passed for skin to skin, he was sitting really high on my chest and I felt I almost couldn't get a good look at him until we got to recovery afterwards.

I'm a single mum, and took a friend of mine along as my birth partner. She took lots of photos of the day and this has been so valuable to look back and remind myself what happened. Although my birth experience was not out of the ordinary, the day and the next couple of weeks were so overwhelming that I forgot all sorts and the photos have helped me reflect and process everything.

I was in hospital until 5pm the following day when both Oliver and I were discharged. I was glad to go home but I wish I'd asked for one person to run through all the information with me before leaving. I had instructions from the midwife, consultant, baby doctors, and follow ups regarding jaundice, diabetes, blood tests, hearing checks, blood pressure checks and so on - it was all a bit disjointed and in the end my referral to the community midwives didn't go through correctly and I almost didn't get my day 1 visit at home. Make sure you're clear on who does what next and who to call if it doesn't happen.

Elective Caesarean Birth Story

I had a great pregnancy and great birth experience...yes, I'm one of those people! Although there were a few minor bumps along the way. Im a first time mum and I started off my pregnancy journey wanting a waterbirth with minimal interventions. But at about 28 weeks, I changed my mind and thought that an elective c section would be a better option for me. I discussed this with the midwife who did not agree that I 'needed' a c section but eventually I was given an appointment with a Consultant. The Consultant very quickly agreed to a c section, but didnt really discuss the risks and benefits of a c section or my other options. I didn't think that I was being fully supported by hospital staff to make the best decision for me and my baby or that my opinions weren't being taken on board. So, armed with the knowledge that I could have my baby wherever and however I chose to....I transferred to a different hospital at about 29 weeks.

This was the best thing that I could have done! The culture of the staff was totally different, I felt fully supported, all options were discussed with risks and benefit and my husband was even allowed to come to the key appointments and scans. With the support of the staff and Sophie I was able to make an informed decision.

I was one of two elective c sections on 17 Dec 2020. We were asked to arrive at 6am, but I was on the afternoon schedule so there was a bit of a wait. We were given a baby cot to put the baby's clothes, hat and blanket in. At this point I thought, oh f##k, I'm having a baby.

The Midwife assigned to me, the Consultant and the Anesthetist came and spoke to us about how I feeling, if I had any concerns and what would happen.

After a morning of nervously waiting, at 2.30 I waddled down to theatre in my hospital gown and not to sexy stocking to have a baby, with my husband in his slightly sexier scrubs. I was asked to confirm my name and date of birth, for what felt like the millionth time that day. My hand was numbed (this hurt a bit), a canula was put in (did didn't hurt at all). I was asked to round my back for the spinal and the area was numbed (I felt a pinch) then spinal was put in (I only felt pressure). The midwife held my hand through out and it was over quickly. The Anesthetist checked that I couldnt feel anything and the Midwife then put a catheter in. Then we waited for a few minutes, which felt like hours, before I was finally rolled into theatre.

The theatre was cold and bright with lots of people hovering around. Everyone introduced themselves and the talked amongst themselves about what they were going to do. I focused on my breath and squeezing the life out of my Husband's hand.

After a bit tugging in my stomach, the sheet was lowered and my husband was told that he could film our baby being born. The curtain was dropped and at 3.21 our little boy was born. He looked like an angry little ugly old man, but he was my angry little ugly old man! After a few tears and many congratulations we were wheeled to recovery, where we did skin to skin and my baby latched for his first feed. After a while the baby started crying and midwives realised that my temperature had dropped. So, I was given a special blanket (bear hugger) and my husband took over skin to skin. The time in recovery felt like 10 minutes to me, but my husband tells me that it was closer to 2 hours. We were taken up to the ward, kept in overnight and discharged the next afternoon. Overall it was a fantastic experience and I'm glad that I was able to make an informed decision about where and how to give birth.

Unplanned Caesarean following an induction for 'big baby'

From quite early on in my pregnancy I was told that my baby was measuring “big”. A week

before my due date I was sent for a final growth scan to be told my baby was measuring around the 10lb mark!

After the scan I was sent to speak to a consultant, and I was offered an induction on my

due date. I asked if I could first have a sweep performed but due to COVID this was unavailable. I declined induction on my due date, and said I wanted to give my baby a chance to make their own appearance, and if this didn’t happen then I would go in for a induction at a later date. My due date came and went and 5 days later nothing was progressing so I decided to proceed with the induction. My husband dropped me off at the hospital (due to COVID he was not allowed to be present until I was transferred to the delivery suite), and my induction started with a pessary being inserted to kick start labour. As the pessary is left for 24 hours the next stage is just a waiting game, 24 hours later I was examined and I had only dilated half cm-1cm. I felt really defeated and knew then this was going to be a long process. I then had to have a 6hour hormone free period until anything else could be done. I was examined again 6hours later and I had dilated to 1.5cm, as my body was doing what it needed to do the doctors decided to let me have another 6 hours to see if my body would dilate anymore by itself. I was then examined again 6hours later and I hadn’t dilated anymore, so the doctor performed a stretch and sweep to help things move along and they also progressed with the next stage of induction by inserting a gel.

A few hours after the gel was inserted, I started to cramp and feel my first set of contractions, by this point I had already been in hospital for 3 days alone and I felt exhausted before even pushing! On the morning of day 3 I was examined and I had finally reached the 2/3cm to go up to delivery suite! Finally some good news and I could finally see my husband for some labour support! I was ready to go up to the delivery suite but unfortunately due to emergencies coming in, I was moved to another ward and had to wait 1.5 days to go up to delivery, by this point my oxytocin levels were at an all time low, I was emotionally drained and didn’t know how I was going to get through the next stage. I finally went up to the delivery suite on day 4 at 6.30pm and my husband could finally join me! My waters were broken and my contractions really started to increase in strength, they were only going to get worse as I was about to be given a hormone drip to increase the intensity. Before this was started, I opted for an epidural, it was the best decision I made, as I was able to relax and get some rest with my partner. I was examined 5 hour later and I had dilated to 7cm!

This was the first time throughout this process that I felt hopeful that this baby would be arriving soon. Another 6 hours went by and the monitor was showing that baby was getting tired, the doctors decided to stop my hormone drip and also stop my epidural to wake baby up. I was then examined to check my progression and I hadn’t dilated any further, I was absolutely gutted and felt so defeated! Baby also wasn’t moving down towards to the birth canal. Due to how long I had been in labour I was given two options:

1. I spend another 2 hours trying to dilate to 10cm to then push and if not I am sent down for an emergency C-Section

2. I opt for a C-Section at this point and it be planned for later that day

After a discussion with my husband and a lot of tears I decided to opt for the C-Section. At this point I thought about my original birth plan and how labour had completely gone the opposite direction to what I had envisioned/wanted, as a backup I had planned how I would want my C-Section to go if I needed one. The team were so lovely and the atmosphere was so calm, everything was explained to me and I was able to implement my C-Section birth plan. At 19.40pm on 30/04/2020 my beautiful baby boy was born weighing 8lbs 14oz and it was the most magical moment of my life. My husband went over to help the team with cleaning him and cutting his cord and he was bought straight over to me after. Those first moments were the most magical and I know I made the right decision in that moment.

Looking back on the whole experience, I am so glad I made a back up birth plan for any intervention. By doing this I was still able to have a really positive birth experience after a tough induction and know I made the right choices for my baby and me.

Bub was born with a 100% tongue tie, on a Sunday evening. I was released from hospital on the monday evening and I went to the breastfeeding clinic on the friday. Breastfeeding had been going ok, no pain and he was getting food, but I wanted to have his tongue tie sorted out as I was worried for future speech and throat problems (I had speech issues relating to learning disabilities and my partner has a tongue tie which was never corrected and has issues with his throat in adulthood). They diagnosed his tt at the clinic on the friday and said all seemed ok with his feeding for the time being. it was nice to see some other breastfeeding parents. she weighed him as well and he was already back at birth weight. He was booked for the tt revision a few weeks later (earliest appointment) and I was sent on my way.

At around 3 weeks old the issues started, his weight stayed fine and his latch was pain free but he could not be settled. He would feed for about 15 mins, tire himself out and fall asleep for about 15 mins, then start screaming until he was back on the boob. this was pretty much the routine for 24hrs a day for 3 weeks until I could have the revision, I was exhausted. he had reflux issues due to taking in too much air when he fed. The revision went without hitch, B was unhappy being swaddled, but not really affected by them snipping his tongue he settled and fed straight after. After the revision B fed for longer and was much more settled, he also had a cranial osteopathy appointment which improved things further. Things went well for about 2 months and then B's weight started to plateau, and he started becoming more unsettled. I wasn't sure what was the cause, so I contacted and paid to see a lactation consultant. she advised that his tongue tie needed re-snipping, and we also discussed that I had itchy nipples and she suspected thrush. We also started combi feeding around this point, with 60mm of formula (or expressed milk if I had any) in the evening, he wouldn't take bottles so generally we spoon fed this too him. I went to the GP and got thrush medication, it took about 6 weeks to get rid of it and it was horrible while we had it. as well as medication I used home remedies to treat it such as vinegar solutions. In the end, the trick was changing my breast feeding pads to non synthetic backed ones. I went back to the holtspur clinic who booked him in to have a second revision 2 weeks later. I also had a further osteopath session. Again Bs feeding improved for around 2m until his weight started to plateau again and became unsettled. Unfortunately, this was at the time of lockdown and I was informed that tongue tie revisions were being put on hold. I had another session with the lactation consultant via videocall which was very helpful. She gave a lot of advice about increasing his milk intake such as nipple tilts and sandwiching the boob, and breast compressions. I had been told about these previously, but she went through them with me in detail giving me confidence to continue. We continued breastfeeding most of the time, with 60mm of formula fed to him in the evening via spoon until he was around 7/8m, when the amount of solids he was eating increased enough for us to drop the formula. We are still breastfeeding at 15 months and I hope to continue for as long as possible.

Before I even was pregnant, I knew I wanted to breastfeed. Once baby arrived I breastfed for the first time in the recovery room from my unplanned csection. It was magical, and everything I ever wanted. My baby lost only 6% of birth weight but struggled to pick it back up. Wycombe Hospital told me my baby didn't gain weight because I swapped breasts during every feed and I should block feed so baby would get the fatty hind milk (spoiler alert: it's wrong advice).

My Health Visitor blamed my milk supply and told me to top up with a bottle. I instantly told her I want to continue my exclusively breastfed (ebf) journey and I asked to be referred to the Infant Feeding Team instead. She rejected my request as I refused to offer the bottle. My HV said it will impact my baby's brain development if they don't gain enough weight and I don't top up. When she left, I cried. Was this the end of my ebf journey? I tried to find help elsewhere. I saw an IBCLC consultant who said no tongue tie. I saw a cranial osteopath who said baby has no tensions. The La Leche League suggested more frequent feeds and breast compressions with every feed, which I did but it was hard. I really wanted to fulfill my dream of ebf. So what was going on?

When baby was 3 months, the weight gain was poor, but I discovered that I had a multiple allergy baby. I cut out the allergens from my diet and my baby started to thrive. My little one went up on the centile chart. I felt super proud. I did that all by myself. It had nothing to do with me swapping breasts during every feed, or my milk supply and there was no need for a bottle. My baby's body used the calories to fight the allergens. My baby is 6 months now and happier than ever. I haven't always felt supported when exclusively breastfeeding, but continuing to breastfeed was the best choice for me and created the most magical bond. We got through this together.

My favourite memory is when baby was 4.5 months, fed breastmilk without allergens, looked up at me briefly, smiled, and continued feeding. I'd like to think that the absence of allergy-related tummy ache made my little one so content they smiled at me.

When I found out I was pregnant, one of my greatest concerns was my uncertainty around breastfeeding with two inverted nipples. Inverted nipples are nipples which are held inwards by tissue lesions and do not easily come out and stay out with manipulation (gentle pinching or rubbing). I knew that it was fairly common to have one or more inverted nipples and fortunately, I had a family member who was able to breastfeed with inverted nipples but I still had no idea what my feeding journey would look and feel like but I knew I had a strong desire to breastfeed.

Preparing: Through research, I found out that a ‘Latch Assist Nipple Evertor’ can help draw the nipple out in advance of having baby and before a feed. So I started to use the Latch Assist during pregnancy to tear some of the nipple tissue lesions and it worked well to get past some of the soreness and light bleeding before baby arrived. However, even up to baby arriving, my nipples remained inverted and I knew that nothing would prepare them fully for baby to be feeding regularly. I planned to harvest some colostrum, alongside packing emergency pre-mixed infant formula in case we ran into early feeding challenges.

Post-Birth: I gave birth to my beautiful baby daughter and immediately fell in love with everything about her. However, the birth put so much pressure on both of our bodies. We were both exhausted and a bit shocked. We had immediate skin-to-skin for the first few hours but she was not latching when we tried to breastfeed and I just used the time to cuddle her. Once we got to the post-natal ward, I started to harvest 0.2ml-1ml of colostrum and I was so amazed that our bodies can make this special golden milk for baby! We offered our baby the colostrum and she took it but her suck was weak from tiredness, and being so small and new. Between colostrum feeds, midwives were visiting our bed to try to help establish a latch but with no luck. We were given a feeding chart to record feed times, milk type and the volume of milk taken. By the evening, we’d only been giving small amounts of colostrum via a syringe and the midwives became concerned about the sustainability of our feeding plan if we were to go home and so we were asked to stay an extra night for additional feeding support. A kind and nurturing student midwife taught me to bottle feed and burp my tiny vulnerable tired little baby.  Our baby started to take 20ml-40ml in bottles and I felt like she was finally getting the food and drink she needed to manage at home. We left hospital without being able to establish a latch or effective breastfeeding.

At Home: In the early days at home, we continued to build our confidence with bottle feeding formula and I pumped to try to encourage my milk to ‘come in’. I really enjoyed the early moments of bottle feeding– especially with her muslin round her neck as a bib and her little closed lips when she was full. I felt really lucky that she was getting the nutrients she’d need to survive and gather some strength but I still felt a strong desire to breastfeed. My relative had suggested I try nipple shields to help establish breastfeeding. I knew from research that they were controversial as they are thought to decrease supply, however, with no latch success I was willing to try anything. So I used a silicone nipple shield and we were able to establish a latch and some breastfeeding but were still predominantly relying on formula. 

At weigh-ins, our baby was losing weight beyond what is normal in those early weeks and so I reached out to the Infant Feeding Team at Stoke Mandeville. They observed our feeds with the shields and offered suggestions to improve our latch. They also inspected a possible tongue tie. They advised that she had some neck tension from birth and a high palette which may have been affecting our feeds. I went home and continued to try improving the latch with the nipple shields and ensuring she was being offered enough formula and expressed breastmilk. Despite pumping night and day, I was still struggling with a low supply at that time because she was not able to effectively drain the breast at each feed to encourage increased milk production. I found it super hard to get up in the night to pump when my body was still recovering and I was not used to the lack of sleep but there was something magical and special about getting up at night with my baby to pump and feed her whilst the rest of the world was so quiet and still.

Despite recording all of her feeds, our baby lost weight again and so our Health Visitor referred us to the NHS Infant Feeding Team that support mums and babies after 28-days post-birth. I was so worried about her weight but I felt strongly about continuing to maintain the breastfeeding progress we had made and I wasn’t ready to stop despite so many people telling me to give up breastfeeding. I was also really stressed about the sustainability of ‘triple feeding’ (pumping, bottle feeding, breastfeeding) and knew that we wouldn’t be able to continue with the cycle of practicing the latch, cleaning and sterilising pumps and bottles, pumping regularly, bagging up milk and recording feeds. The intensity and relentlessness of it all was starting to feel like all my precious time with my baby was being taken up with constant feeding work in some form or another and most concerningly, she was still losing weight. Our breastfeeding sessions were taking 30-75 minutes which made me feel trapped and I just knew it was because she wasn’t getting enough milk during feeds. We worked with a fantastic lady from the Infant Feeding Team who I called the ‘Feeding Fairy’! The Feeding Fairy supported all types of feeding and was able to help me with my goals to breastfeed. She complimented the bond I had with my baby and said how funny she was. She made me feel like I wasn’t failing, that my goal was achievable despite having inverted nipples and I actually got excited about breastfeeding again! She showed me different feeding positions and hunger/full cues, explained the cycle of a feed (the milk let-down, watery milk at the start, then fattier milk and flutter feeding at the end of feed), and explained signs of an effective latch position and swallowing. In the following weeks, I worked on the ‘nipple to nose’ positioning, ‘super switching’, breast shaping and breast compressions to improve our feeds with a better latch, and to increase my supply.

Come the Feeding Fairy’s second visit, she suggested we try a breastfeed without the nipple shields and I felt super sceptical having failed at previous attempts. I started the feed with the shields on to draw out the nipple and then when she said to, I whipped off the shield and IT WORKED! My baby was feeding effectively straight from the breast with no shields for the first time at week 8!  It was the hope I needed to fully commit to breastfeeding and so that was exactly what I did. I started to offer the breast at every feed. In those early days, I still occasionally had to use the shield again but I knew we were on track to being able to feed without! In the weeks that followed, I started to notice that the volume of formula milk she was taking from the top up bottles was decreasing as she was getting more and more milk from the breast and as my supply increased from her effective, regular breastfeeding. During this time, my nipples became very sore as they adjusted to regular feeds without the shields and I was grateful to have silver nipple cups ready to support their healing. I also eventually had a blister on each nipple where the final lesion tissue was tearing and rubbing but they healed quickly in the silver nipple cups.

Weaning Off Nipple Shields:I started to feel like I was throwing away a lot of formula milk so I spoke to my Health Visitor and the Feeding Fairy about stopping top up bottles and we made a plan to gradually stop offering bottles but to always offer the breast again. Within the week, she was off bottles and WE DID IT! After everything we’d worked towards, we had finally achieved our goal of exclusively breastfeeding with inverted nipples and it felt amazing!!! I finally felt in control of our feeding journey and was in a position to decide if and how often to bottle feed!

Reflections: Was it all worth it and would I do it again? Yes (for me)! I wish I’d gone into my breastfeeding journey with more confidence about the possibility of breastfeeding with inverted nipples -  they aren’t defective or dysfunctional, we just needed a lot of additional support to reach our goal! I’m so pleased we used the nipple shields to establish some kind of breastfeeding in those early days and I just wish I’d contacted the Infant Feeding Team sooner. I also wish I'd listened to the Olivia Hinge audio book about feeding when I was pregnant as it was totally aligned to all the NHS advice I received. I’ll forever be grateful to the women who taught me to feed my baby and supported me through all the difficult moments, for the midwife that taught me to bottle feed my baby on our first night in hospital, the Health Visitor, the Infant FeedingTeam (and Feeding Fairy), to my amazing group of supportive non-judgemental new mums from our antenatal class, and of course, to my amazing supportive husband and gorgeous happy thriving baby who is getting very chubby now. 

My birth story was everything I had wanted from the start of my pregnancy. I was consultant led and I made them aware at my 16wk appointment and got my date for my caesarean at my 32wk scan which was terrifying and amazing to know the date he was going to be born.

The morning of the c section was more relaxing than I thought it would be, we met with the midwife, consultant and anaesthetist to go through everything and discuss my birth plan. We were led down to theatre and met the rest of the team then got the spinal, I had no idea it was going to work as quick as it did and was surreal when I realised in the lights that they had started cutting. It genuinely felt like seconds and they were lowering the curtain so I could see him being born. I didn’t get delayed cord clamping or immediate skin to skin as he needed a little oxygen but as soon as he was given the ok, he was on my chest until we went back up to the ward. I will be honest I didn’t care that it didn’t go to plan I was just so happy to have our baby in my arms. 

The plan had been to exclusively breastfeed, however he had other ideas and wouldn’t latch, I was gutted and had to grieve my inability to feed my baby how I thought I was meant to, but I had brought colostrum so he was able to have that. I got advice during the night from a lactation specialist and support from the midwives, the next day I had a more in-depth conversation with a lactation specialist who watch me feed and gave me tips. As my milk hadn’t come in I was given ready made formula during the night until my husband could bring ours in the morning. I starting my combi feeding journey of pumping to increase supply, breastfeeding with a nipple shield and bottle feeding. When he was latching with a shield it was painful and I suspected a tongue tie, which was confirmed at the breastfeeding clinic and was snipped but didn’t change his ability to latch to me. 

I will be honest doing all three was exhausting and I decided to stop pumping around 10 weeks, and focus on formula feeding and topping up with breastfeeding. I thought that was going to be the end of my journey as I didn’t think I had a good supply, but I’m really proud to say that I’m still combi feeding with the help of a nipple shield at nearly 7 months, and don’t plan to stop any time soon.

Although everyone tells you that your hormones will be all over the place after the baby is born I didn’t quite anticipate how it emotional I would feel. The first few weeks were a blur and I felt like I was in survival mode. I was scared of PPD, as I suffer with generalised anxiety, the HV talked to me about when we first met and checked in several times to make sure I was still doing ok. I’m so grateful for my husband taking on the load of things that he could to make my life easier when he went back to work. Life definitely started to feel like it was getting easier around the 10 weeks mark, as we felt like we were getting into a rhythm and everything started to feel more natural. I know there is more to come that will throw me but we’ve had the best start.